I have always identified myself as an eternal romantic. A hearts and flowers kind of girl!!
I have grown up reading romantic fiction. I have read classics like Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Erich Segal’s Love story, Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre and also modern-day romantic novels like Nicholas Sparks Notebook, The lucky one, Cecelia Ahern’s P.S. I love you, The Twilight series (although it seems silly now) and many more novels. So basically, most of my romantic notions are fed by the heroic acts of the protagonists in romantic fiction.
People usually call me ‘filmy’ for a good reason. I like when two people say bye to each other but still turn behind and stare at each other and when they are caught staring, they smile. I like cliché endings, the ones in which the guy runs to the airport and they finally unite. I feel delighted when a couple lives happily ever after at the end of any movie. Even after being heartbroken, I still believe in true love and romance. Most of my friends found it highly immature and childish of me. But for me, what’s life without a little bit of drama and romance in it??
So I decided that its high time that I ask this inevitable question to them and get to know what their take on romance is! One very close friend of mine said that
Romance is something so powerful that going beyond your limits is not a big deal.
One self proclaimed “I am not that romantic” person said, “romance is in the small things that one does for his or her partner” which is ironically very romantic. One very practical lady said that “romance is not something when you call each other by cheesy nicknames. It is the ability to understand each other just by a simple look into each other’s eyes. It is the ability to communicate with each other without speaking a single word. It is the ability to make the other person laugh just by a silly comment.” According to a married friend of mine, “romance is in a simple hug or a kiss which can fade away all the tiredness at the end of the day.” As usual most of the ‘happily single’ guys came up with the brilliant answer that romance and true love are ‘BS’. Forgive me for the slang!! That’s what they said. BS means bullshit it seems!! They say love and romance are the cause of disappointment and pain.
Let’s talk about the believers in romance first. If whatever we think is true and if romance is something so powerful and so pure, I just wonder why there are so many heart breaks?? So many questions started popping up in my mind.
Is romance missing it’s authenticity?? Is it the ‘idea of love’ or really ‘love’ we are behind??
What has changed from those days they used to write letters once per month to today’s scenario when people text each other every other hour??
After a breakup, is it the person or just the company we miss the most??
Have we stopped searching for true love??
Are we stuck in a dating rut?? Are we just looking for someone to hang onto??
Why do people in long-term relationships also break up? Why are dating sites more crowded than shopping malls these days??
The truth is.. we look for instant gratification. We need everything in the blink of our eye. We generally take very less time to get attracted and fall for a person. As we know, the initial ‘butterflies in stomach’ phase wears off after a few days or a few weeks. After this phase, what a couple really needs is the understanding. One person has to respect the other’s feelings, choices and personality. But frankly speaking, do we have the patience to get to know a person properly?? We are so keen in ‘feeling alive’ that one moment rather than being there for each other every single day.
We believe in convenience rather than conviction.
We get attracted easily and we get fed up easily. We break at the slightest hint of trouble. We find reasons to give up rather than finding ways to work it out. We all are confused souls who can’t choose true love and romance over comfort. We lock ourselves in our comfort zones. We are intimidated by all-consuming love. We want to fall in love that has reason and that is convenient. But if love is calculated, is it even love?? Love is when it happens without one’s knowledge. It hits you all of a sudden, without any warning. When you really love someone, all the reasons and situations don’t matter.
Honestly speaking, we can only experience the true taste of romance when we give it time. When we really have the guts to stop running behind reasons. When we start believing in magic. When we give ourselves and our partner a chance. When we really put in the effort to understand each other. When we stop being commitment phobic. When we give in to uncertainty of a relationship and when we are willing to take risks.
I think it’s time to stop thinking and start feeling..
It’s time to take the plunge into the greater depths of romance..
It’s time to live and love again.. truly.. completely and unconditionally..